It’s been a particularly drab December here in Utah, where an atypical lack of snowfall has failed to make a winter wonderland of the otherwise lifeless inversion-bogged post-Autumn mountains of the Wasatch Front.
So I wanted to go somewhere pretty. Somewhere like the spa at the Grand America Hotel, Salt Lake City’s largest and only AAA rated 5-diamond hotel. This is the big daddy of Utah’s hotel industry. When U.S. presidents visit the Beehive State, this is where they stay.
As far as the actual Treat Yo Self experience, I was intrigued by the Sugar Body Polish offered by the spa, which promised a “sweet treat to pamper deprived skin” through a blend of sugar exfoliate and moisturizing coconut and safflower oil, rich in Vitamins B-6and E.
I love vitamin B-6, it’s my favorite of the Bs! (Note: I don’t actually know the difference between B vitamins). I was sold, and I invited my friend Liz to come along.
I met Liz in February during the Legislative session. She’s a southerner who likes Mexican food. She’s my polar opposite. Literally. We have the Myers Briggs test results to prove it.
She’s ok.
We checked in at the Grand Spa and were promptly shown to our locker rooms, which were located on separate floors and which included their own gender specific lounges. I can’t speak for the women’s lounge, but mine had two large plasma screens, a shoe polisher and complimentary tea, pretzels and granola.
I was shown to my locker by an attendant, where I found a very comfortable robe (pictured above) and a pair of Jesus sandals waiting for me. There was also a dry sauna and steam room and a row of showers, including the “experience” shower, a behemoth monstrosity advertized as having 17 separate shower heads (I counted 18).
After a few minutes in the lounge, I was picked up by my — masseuse? scrubber? — the person who would be performing my body scrub, who led me upstairs to my treatment room, which included its very own experience shower.
She gave me an option of scents to choose from, from which I selected a eucalyptus grapefruit blend. I was also a little congested from a cold so she added some essential oils to help me breathe better.
The scrub itself was very similar to a massage: I lied down on a bed covered by a sheet and she proceeded to pass her sugar-coated hands around my body. But instead of the pressured kneading of a massage, she moved in a back and forth motion similar to what I imagine my teeth feel when I brush them.
After the sugar was applied, she stepped out of the room while I went and rinsed off in the experience shower. I was really excited for this but the shower itself turned out to be mildly terrifying, a disorienting onslaught of scalding hot water coming from all directions with no escape.
I rinsed and toweled and laid back down. She returned to the room, applied some moisturizing oil and that was that. I met back up with Liz in the lobby and we picked up our to-go bottles of sugar scrub for an at-home sequel.
Properly pampered, we skipped over to Simply Sushi to conduct our interview over some miso soup and tuna rolls.
Wood’s Stock: Who are you and what do you do?
Elizabeth Converse: My name is Elizabeth and I work in politics.
WS: What did you think of the body scrub today?
EC: It was weird.
WS: How so?
EC: It was like a massage that was cut in half and instead you were scrubbed for the first half.
WS: Did you like it though?
EC: Yeah it was fun.
WS: Have you ever had a scrub before?
EC: No
WS: Walk me through it, what it was.
EC: You get naked and you get on a table and instead of a massage they rub you down with exfoliates and things that smell good.
WS: What does it feel like?
EC: Tingly. I enjoyed it. A lot.
WS: I’ve had a massage, it’s very smooth. But this was scratchy.
EC: It didn’t feel scratchy to me. It didn’t hurt.
WS: I don’t mean that it hurt but it was scratchy, kind of sandy.
EC: Yeah
WS: Like someone with sandy hands was rubbing my body.
EC: Yeah. You and I define words differently. Scratchy to me has a negative connotation. It was awesome.
WS: So then what?
EC: You jump into this really weird shower with a million shower heads and light reflectors.
WS: What did you think of that?
EC: I was completely overwhelmed.
WS: Right?
EC: I told her that after I got out. She laughed and said she always has to turn have the heads off, it’s over-stimulation.
WS: It was too much. She turned it on for me and she turned it on way too hot.
EC: With mine some of them were cold and some of them were hot and I couldn’t figure out how to adjust them so they were all warm. I just kept turning awkwardly and making sure all the sugar was off of me. And that’s another thing. Sugar gets places.
WS: Sugar gets places?
EC: Yeah and I didn’t…
WS: Should we just leave it at that?
EC: Yeah let’s leave it at that.
WS: So after shower what then?
EC: You lay back down on a clean set of sheets. That’s another thing, it was weird laying in sheets with food in them. I haven’t done that in a long time.
WS: You mean the sugar?
EC: Yeah, it’s gross. No eating in bed.
WS: So how does it finish out?
EC: You lay down on the clean sheets. They rub you down with oil, like a mini massage and that was pleasant. I enjoyed both sides of that, really it was just the shower that was weird. She did my stomach, which was really nice and felt interesting.
WS: When you say she did you stomach, you were laying there topless?
EC: No she covered me with a towel. She just rolled the sheet down and I had a towel.
WS: I’m just mad that I didn’t get my stomach.
EC: It was kind of awesome.
WS: I mean, it’s easy to scrub my stomach.
EC: It was really fun and super relaxing. It’s one of those body parts that people don’t often rub so it was quite pleasant.
WS: How does your skin feel?
EC: I don’t know yet. I kind of want to go home and get naked and test it out. Putting my clothes back on was weird. They were dirty and I was all clean and soft. The hair on my legs is super soft right now.
WS: You’re a sports fan yes?
EC: Yeah
WS: Who do you cheer for?
EC: NBA is Oklahoma City Thunder. I currently do not have an NFL team. I’m looking.
WS: You’re in the market?
EC: I’m in the market for an NFL team. I love Peyton but the Broncos are just a raging disappointment. And then of course college ball, Oklahoma State for life and most SEC teams when they’re not playing someone I care about.
WS: Are you more of a collegiate level fan or professional?
EC: Growing up in Oklahoma there weren’t professional teams so college ball is life.
WS: I don’t know a lot of women who are big sports fans. Where you grew up is it just sports everywhere, every day, everything?
EC: Yeah during the season its just part of life. The only season that I wasn’t invested in was baseball but down there baseball is still pretty huge. It just depends on where you live and what the major sport was in the town you grew up in and for us that was football.
WS: Is it weird to you if someone doesn’t’ like sports?
EC: Yes.
WS: Why? Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that right now you were speaking to someone who didn’t care about sports.
EC: Hypothetically.
WS: What would be your argument to why they’re wrong?
EC: I don’t necessarily think they’re wrong it’s just odd to me. That’s what you do in high school and college, it’s how you show collegiate pride. One thing I loved about my high school experience was that we had players in our drama department. There was no divide there. The directors worked hard to make sure everyone was well-rounded so you became friends with people. You wanted to support them in their careers.
WS: I’m a huge film fan and people are often dismissive of entertainment and I have a speech that I sometimes give as to why I think it’s important. So why is sports important. Why does it matter?
EC: It’s the alternative to modern warfare. I don’t know how to explain that. It allows for a healthy level of competition and aggression where other people might not have an outlet at that time. I think people and young adulthood is a very stressful time and sports and sports fandom allows people that outlet.
WS: What about people who argue that it heightens and fosters aggression?
EC: I think they’ve never seen a bunch of bored teenagers in a neighborhood with nothing else to do breaking stuff. You put those same teenagers who want to break stuff on a football field and they might get to go to college because of it.
WS: It’s bowl season. Are any of your teams still in the running?
EC: Oklahoma State. I don’t know what bowl they’re in.
WS: Would you recommend a body scrub to someone who has never had one?
EC: No.
WS: Why not?
EC: I think it’s something that can be done at home and I’d rather spend the entire time being massaged.
WS: I can see that. I liked the variety of two experiences. Felt like I was getting a lot out of my trip to the spa. Are you on twitter?
EC: No.
WS: Anything you want to promote.
EC: No.
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Normally, that would be the end of this post. But seeing as how this was the final Treat Yo Self I thought I’d check in with some of our friends from adventures throughout the year.
I asked them a few questions and then invited them to turn the tables and interview me. Here’s what they had to say.
Adam Blair, from Treat Yo Self: Barbershop Shave
Wood’s Stock: Have you repeated your Treat Yo Self activity? Or have you had any other Treat Yo Self experiences this year?
Adam Blair: Yes, I got a mani-pedi with some friends. And it so happens that I booked a straight razor shave yesterday at Ray’s.
WS: Now that it’s not so fresh, would you still recommend/not recommend your activity?
AB: Absolutely. Straight razor shaves make you feel real classy.
WS: Any questions for me?
AB: Would you rather have rackets for hands or flippers for feet?
WS: Flipper feet would only be useful in an aquatic scenario, but racket hands would interfere with more of my day-to-day activities. I choose flipper feet.
AB: How do you feel about ugly sweater parties?
WS: I support themed parties but I don’t believe in intentionally wearing ugly clothing.
Cody Titmus, from Treat Yo Self: Chest Wax
Wood’s stock: Have you repeated your Treat Yo Self activity? Or have you had any other Treat Yo Self experiences this year?
Cody Titmus: I think I am going to limit myself to just the one waxing this year.
WS: Now that it’s not so fresh, would you still recommend/not recommend your activity to others?
CT: That’s a hard ‘No!’
WS: Any questions for me?
CT: Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?
Neil Schiffman, from Treat Yo Self: Spray Tan
Wood’s Stock: Have you had any other Treat Yo Self experiences this year?
Neil Schiffman: The only treating myself I’ve ever really ever done was a pedicure. That was heavenly. No headaches, crazy soft feet, and crazy Asian ladies making fun of me added up to a delightful experience.
WS: Any questions for me?
NS: When you read Ayn Rand what was your initial reaction and how do you view her writings now?
WS: I still consider myself a Rand fan, much like I consider myself an Upton Sinclair fan. I don’t think either author’s work should be the sole foundation of society or an individual’s philosophy, but I enjoyed Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead and think there’s valuable nuggets in there, particularly about inter-personal relationships. I even gave Atlas Shrugged a shout-out in my novel Committing.
NS: With this Rolling Stone article blowing up in their face, what, in your opinion does this story do to the cause of raising rape awareness? Do people respond “told you rape like that doesn’t happen” or completely ignore any discrepancies and continue to see men as pigs?
WS: I think we’re seeing both reactions, and I worry about this controversy setting the conversation back several years. But many universities, including UVA, continue to be under investigation by the Department of Education for their handling of campus sexual assault and a lot of schools are moving forward with their reviews of campus policies even though the article has been (at least partly) discredited. TIME had an interesting article about the post-Rolling Stone landscape that suggested the conversation is still moving forward.
Emily Milam, from Treat Yo Self: Hot Stone Massage
Wood’s Stock: Have you repeated your activity or treated yo self in other ways?
Emily Milam: Probably once a day since February I have thought to myself “I need to get another hot stone message,” but sadly, I haven’t gone back for another. However, this year I went skydiving (which was definitely a treat for me) and I got a couple facials which were awesome.
WS: Any questions for me?
EM: If you had to pick 3 movies that were the only three movies you could watch for the rest of your life, what would they be?
WS: Casablanca, Jurassic Park, Silver Linings Playbook.
EM: Your escorts excluded, which Treat Yo Self was your favorite?
WS: The hot stone massage was the most enjoyable and probably the one that I’m most looking forward to doing again. But in the sense of discovering new and interesting things, I would say the sensory deprivation tank was the most memorable.
EM: What is the most importation news item people should be aware of at this time?
WS: The American diet is a joke, setting us on a trajectory for widespread diabetes in the coming decades. While we were all enjoying our diet Coke, they stopped referring to Type 2 as “adult-onset” diabetes because people are getting it at younger and younger ages. Big sugar is the new big tobacco and common sense reform efforts, like listing added sugar on nutrition labels, are being blocked by very powerful and well-funded lobbying groups. Stop. Drinking. Soda. And watch ‘Fed Up.’
Chelsey Gensel, from Treat Yo Self: European Facial
Wood’s Stock: Have you repeated your activity or treated yo self in other ways this year?
Chelsey Gensel: I have not repeated my activity but only because new york is so damn expensive. I have thought about treating myself a few times after reading your blog posts, but I’ve always put it off because of timing or cost – maybe I’ll make a list of my own for 2015.
WS: Would you still recommend getting a facial?
CG: I would recommend trying it at least once, especially if you have problems with your skin. Find a treatment suited to that specifically.
WS: Any questions for me?
CG: Do you feel like you were “successful” with the project?
WS: I do. I like to say that “I fear the life un-lived” and this project really gave me the push I needed to open myself up to new experiences. Most of the things on this list were things I’ve been curious about for a while, but I never had the right motivation to pull the trigger.
CG: Is there any treat you wish you had or hadn’t done?
WS: I don’t regret any of the activities, even though some of them were horrible. Liz and I were supposed to end it with a hot air balloon ride over the Wasatch Front but the pilots cancelled at the last moment because of inclement weather. That was a bummer. I had also hoped to do acupuncture but everywhere I looked sold service packages instead of single visits, which was just too cost prohibitive.
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